A toddler, age three-and-a-half, crossed the line. He went too far. He had to be stopped.
His hand sign for his name looks suspiciously like the sign for “gun.” Yes, my friends, gun. At school. Do you understand? At school! A tax-supported school. You know: where there are defenseless children.
Well, this could not be tolerated. The school has a no-guns policy. As in “no tolerance.”
The boy was told to change his name. Maybe to Fred. Possibly to Bruce. What is his name? Hunter.
Hunter! We all know what hunters carry. I can say it here. I dare not say it on campus. Guns!
You may think I am making fun of school officials, who are only doing their jobs. Far be it from me to recommend that the school’s authorities waver in their quest for school safety.
But they had a problem. A local TV station ran a story on this policy.
Voters started laughing.
Laughing! Can you imagine this? What is the matter with these people? Don’t they understand the importance of school safety?
School officials said they had received death threats. This is no laughing matter. While the school had no copies of these death threats, officials assured the media that these had been received. Maybe in sign language. Possibly in smoke signals.
Anyway, the school district has decided to allow a teensy-weensy bit of tolerance. It has issued a press release. Hunter will henceforth be allowed to call himself Hunter.
Grand Island Public Schools is not requiring any current student with a hearing impairment to change his or her sign language name. Our mission remains: Every Student, Every Day, a Success!
This applies only to current students. This is not a blank check for future students. Parents who name their child “Uzi” are put on warning. Possibly “Magnum,” even if it refers to champagne. “Bullett” is also at risk.
Who says a school district cannot be flexible? In an election year. When school board members are up for re-election. When budgets are tight. Flexibility is basic.