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Homeland Security Buys Sno-Cone Machines to Fight Terrorism

Written by Gary North on May 23, 2012

Terrorists will stop at nothing to bring America down. But the Department of Homeland Security is up to the challenge.

The latest threat is heat exhaustion. This is especially a threat in West Michigan. So, in preparation for this ruthless attack on West Michigan, the DHS has bought 13 ice-making machines.

And not just any ice-making machines. It has bought Sno-Cones, the Cadillac of ice-making machines. No expense should be spared to protect residents of West Michigan.

The machines that went to 13 counties — including Kent, Ionia, Muskegon, Ottawa and Newaygo — are Arctic Blast Sno-Cone makers that can, according to one sales list, shave 500 pounds of ice per hour.

The 13 ice machines cost a total $6,200, according to the West Shore Regional Planning Commission, which administers the grant money.

The written justification of the funding insists that the “machines will assist with treating the onset of heat exhaustion and stroke during large scale events or activities including possible terrorist incidents or similar emergencies.”

The narrative also says local emergency managers believe they can use the Sno-Cone machines to produce ice quickly to help cool down suffering patients.

The Deputy Fire Chief who chairs the Regional Homeland Security Planning Board has explained that the machines have a useful purpose.

“In the event of an emergency where there is great heat for extended period of time, it does provide a means for ice packs for responders, for volunteers to stay hydrated in a different way than bottled water, and it is portable.”

He added that local emergency management agencies can use the Sno-Cone machines as an attraction at public functions where they are trying to recruit volunteers.

There is nothing like a Sno-Cone to recruit volunteers to keep America safe from terrorists.

I know I will sleep better, knowing that West Michiganers are safer.
Next week, maybe central Georgians will be safer, too. I’m hoping.

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24 thoughts on “Homeland Security Buys Sno-Cone Machines to Fight Terrorism


    First of all I am a former Western Michigan Resident, therefore I have
    seen some pretty stupid things go on in the state of Michigan.
    Only in America would we spend $6200.00 in such a ridiculous way.
    Leave it up to Homeland Security to piss away more money.

  2. Maybe they were planning on putting signs up in Arabic to trick terrorists into showing up for a free snow cone?

  3. If we were in a situation where there was no electricity, from said terrorist attack… I wonder how these things are to work… Of course Generators!!!, now steps in the Dirt People, and they say Generators produce CO2, in turn creates global warming… I can see where this is going.

  4. These are idiots what do you expect from our government ? Monkey ear obama!

  5. HadEnuf says:

    If I'm not mistaking, some county in Michigan has one, if not thee biggest Muslim population in America. I don't know how, yet, but I surely believe that the Muslim-Marxist is doing it for his brothers – as in "Brotherhood." Think about it, wouldn't it be more logical to have them at least installed in a hot climate like Arizona or Florida? Something is up, it may be so that his Brotherhood can be cooled when they take over the city that they occupy, like in France, so that they will be cool when they pray in the city streets! WAKE THE HELL UP, WISE UP, RISE UP!

  6. Whatever happened to "crushing" your own ice. Anyway, ice does not have to be crushed that fine to help. Ice packs hold regular crushed ice and whole ice. Stupid is as stupid does. (gel packs work fine, also). Yes, I agree when the electricity goes out and stays out for long enough, none of these will produce ANY kind of ice, NOHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. I see a major problem with this idiocy;;;given there is a bonafide terrorist attack, there is a very strong possibility that the electricity will not be working, hence, no ice! At any rate, the so-called homeland security is nothing more than a blatant scam filled with conartists who are getting away with bilking the American public. We have no need for this so-called agency, other than obammy's need to feed his glutted ego.

  8. You are correct; they are located in Dearborn MI. TLC did a reality program about them, but that lasted a short term (5 or 6 weeks), Apparently the general public was not interested in their lifestyle. Anyway, I did watch some of it and the shows were really contrived–so disgusting and so full of bs propaganda!

  9. Charlie says:

    The person who signed off on this should be given all of the ice machines and the total cost should be taken out of his paycheck and if he quits it should be taken out of his retirement. HOW STUPID!!

  10. True, and shaved ice melts much faster than cubed ice, so there is no real benefit with the shaved ice. The government just needed to blow more of our money on muslims…isn't that the area in OUR country being taken over by islam?

  11. The problem is that unlike private industry where people that screw up like this either get fired or are expected to pay for their mistakes financially or through extra work, the public sector doesn't have to account to anyone for anything. The unions protect them, and it almost takes an act of congress to get them fired. Look at the BP situation. If those oil wells had been monitored by a private insurance company instead of lazy assed people watching porn, there would have not been a BP situation.

  12. If we wouldn't be sticking our dirty nose into every country business we wouldn't have to be worry about terorism.

  13. sean murry says:

    Cant fix stupid.

  14. ProundPatriotToo says:

    Yes sure, another one thousand and ten yawn moment of stupidity. At least once a day I hear the money toilet flush all the way from D.C. (district of communism). Just warms the heart, oh! ya!.

  15. Jim Jones says:

    Can't fix stupid is right…..it is things like this that prove those of us who consider ourselves to be conservatives that people who work in government are apparently taking stupid pills more than once a day…in the first place, doesn't anyone get it, THIS COUNTRY IF FLAT BROKE, HOW IS IT YOU GET ANY AUTHORITY TO SPEND MONEY FOR ANYTHING BEYOND WHAT IS COMING IN AND THAT LESS THE INTEREST PAYMENTS ON WHAT WE OWE. Nope you can't fix STUPID.

  16. Sgt. York says:

    Buddy here is a tribute to the DHS, Americas total dumb assed group. Guess next we gotta get Grape Strawberry and Orange so the boys will feel totally great. DUMB? HELL YES

  17. You won't see this administration sending snow-cone ice machines to the warmer ( Red ) states, since they won't be voting for the " Ineligible One " in November. I'll bet it gets much warmer in Florida, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Texas, etc., than it gets in Muslim Occupied Michigan ! Now is that $6,200 PER Machine x 16 ? The article says total, but that sounds cheap. So is it $ 387.50 per machine or $6,200 per ? – OR – ( $6,200 x 16 = $99,200 ) ?

  18. what happened to gator ade ,t can be cooled and far better than ice. put's stuff back in body that you swet out.
    where are the snow cone machines in west texas and cal. when they have there fires.?

  19. MI Patriot says:

    The city you are referring to is called Dearborn. Or Dearbornistan to those of us who still live in MIchigan. Along with foot baths that have been installed in the U of M campus in Flint and Eastern MI University. And Hamtramack, where you cannot ring your churchbells because they will offend the muslims. Seriously..you cannot ring your church bells on Sunday.

  20. @Tom, The article clearly said 13 ice-cone machines at a total of $6,200. Not too diificult to follow. The point that several others made is well taken that there are reas of the country that are a lot hotter than western Michigan. Also that in the event of some attack or disaster there won't be electric power ( so it doesn't matter what you paid – it was a waste of money). Probably really intended for DHS offices to keep the employees happy and"cool" like the usurper who likes haved ice cones.

  21. Oops meant to say…areas of the country…
    Also final sentence should be …usurper who likes shaved ice cones.
    Forgot to proof before I pushed the submit button.

  22. ED DAVISON says:


  23. Tionico says:

    that deppity fire chief needs to take his turn in the unemployment lines. What stupid thinking. WHERE will the electricity to run these machines come from whem the mozzies have brought chaos to Michigan?

    I too think the price, $6200, is for one machine. I know how much the standard restaurant grade ice machines cost, these are more than that. They are FAR more than five hundred per unit. Someone needs to trace the pigmeat trail to see who is behind this insanity.

  24. If the suggested scheme will work successfully then it'll be possible to get a sound sleep for all the people of Michigan. Hope for the best. Good luck for the 'Regional Homeland Security Planning Board' and hope they'll be able to make their plan in real and thanks for the update.