So, you dream of five acres and independence. Stop.
You dream of living in a state with no income tax and no sales tax. You can do that. It’s New Hampshire, where it’s cold in winter. It’s really, truly cold. What you save in income taxes and sales taxes you will spend in fuel oil.
Then there is a gentleman farm. The problem is this: it’s not a farm, and you’re no gentlemen. Admit it. You aren’t.
Neither was P. J. O’Rourke, but that didn’t stop him from buying such a place in New Hampshire. He owns a true retreat in the country.
His problem is simple to describe: he can’t find a face-saving way to retreat from his retreat.
He battles raccoons. He battles squirrels. He battles thorns. He forgot to read Genesis 3:17-19.
At least he has maintained his sense of humor. If you don’t laugh out loud at his report, you have lost yours.